FANCYCHAIN

In my company, in Canada, we do our sales in five chains. First, you have GROCERYCHAIN. a big supermarket like WAL-SUCK but not quite as evil and with union employees. its nice because all the supplies are right in the store, along with anything you could want for lunch. I used to work for GROCERYCHAIN. it's super poorly managed. the guys at night are no longer allowed to use the dumpster because they would dump whole pallets of food into the dumpster rather than putting it on shelves. good to pitch in. super high traffic. madhouse all day long.

Then we have GHETTOMART, which is a part of GROCERYCHAIN, except that nobody knows it exists. its like costco, but smaller and more rediculous. if you buy NINE 100 gallon packages of ranch dressing, you save TEN CENTS. its cool there though cuz you can buy board games for five bucks, and cleavers for five bucks, and an entire cut of tenderloin for 20 bucks. 0ver 9000 deals.

now we have MALLSTORE, this is the standard, its a chain that spans north america. traffic is almost always good. clientele is middle class, its an all around neat place to work, but they make announcements a LOT. like every 5 minutes. its annoying trying to stand out.

next up the evolutionary scale is SUBURBANSHOP. another department store, this one is like the canadian equivalent of a target or k-mart. most of them are in suburbia, and generally suck, but the odd one can suprise you and turn out to be a cash cow. we've been working a lot of these lately

Finally, my favorite, FANCYCHAIN, by the same owners of SUBURBANSHOP. FANCYCHAIN has the highest class of clientele. you don't crack as many jokes in a fancychain, its about being credible, they have to be ready to ask if you're a chef yourself if you're selling in fancychain. best thing about fancychain though, people BUY. i ahd days where i actively attempted to PREVENT people from buying and it made them buy more.


we're going into fancychain this week. i'm ready to see a 20% boost in sales. fuck yes. moneygasm