The clusterfuck... conclusion

the clusterfuck subsides... i have won the day. i am now the last man standing. i'm quite a lot richer.


When last you heard from your faithful pitchman, i was but a trainer and sales agent living in a run down apartment. awaiting impending doom when the national director came to visit. my oh my how the tides have changed.

The Big Boss man showed up, and like the wizard of oz fixed a medium amount of things. the plan for the satellite city was (and is) totally bogus, but it seems to be working, He made me manager for my region, running two cities, my old boss took over philadelphia, and our last remaining experienced agent went with him. This left me and our struggling trainee in the satellite market. the first week went great, we pulled great sales, and i was scheduled to take two days and run back to the central city to move into the new corporate condo.


Then the shit hit the fan.

what follows is a journal of the shit hitting the fan.


11AM sunday, got the trainee set up and bought him supplies to last him while i was gone, discovered how to call 1800 numbers from inside the chain without having a cell phone.

left for home.

3pm sunday, arrive home and break down the last booth in that city for a while, run to pick up my friend who is helping me move

5pm, grab my couch and drop it at the condo. other than getting the van stuck 8 times and nearly killing my friend, things go smoothly

8pm the boxspring doesn't fit into the van, drop my friend off and then go to get money from my parents so i can buy rope and strap the boxpring to the roof of the van. i also visit a friend i loaned a book from years back. the book is somehow ruined en route.


midnight i get a call from the trainee that the hotel is booting us out, i have to return to the satellite market, i buy some red bull.

5am, after three more trips and seeing the old boss off, i begin the trip back to the satellite market. having nearly fallen asleep on the road several times already, i am slamming energy drinks and singing along to bad rock songs like there's no tomorrow


11am, i arrive in the hotel just in time to check out, the trainee is there, which struck me as odd since he was supposed to be working, i send him to the store and handle the rest of checkout and other business.

2pm i complete the paperwork necessary for everyone to get paid and fedex it to texas. then i go to check on the trainee\

3pm. the trainee is not at the store, and therefore he no longer has a job, i pitch in a state of exhaustion for several hours, then i go to the new hotel and sleep.

Tuesday through thursday are all doubleshifts. i am a zombie. but sales are excellent

Friday, interviews, i might actually get a day off one day.



and now i've been managing for a week, the store shuts down tomorrow and i can finally get some rest.


i now also have the company van, free gas, and partially free phone


i earned my chops fast, holy crap do i deserve it.