Things actually said in some pitches

I can't beleive i'm writing this post *shudder*

here's some of the stupid stuff said and overheard in pitches recently


Me: So its one knife for bread, One Knife for Meat--
Customer: One Knife to beat your wife
*Gasp*
Me: Sir... when you beat someone with a knife... thats stabbing.


Customer: did you cut yourself with that knife?
Salesperson: No, that band-aid is just a fashion statement.

Salesperson: This Knife is Made from Triple-tempered, surgical Stainless Steel, Its like having a razorblade with a handle on it.
Customer: Could you use that knife to slit your wrists.
Salesperson: What?
Customer. I heard once about this girl who cut her wrists all the way down and she bled to death.
Salesperson: Well, you wouldn't WANT to do that, but you could.

Me: Raise your hand if you've heard of the JINZU Knife (name altered to protect the innocent) Raise your hand Extra high if you OWN a JINZU Knife. oh, how do you like yours
Customer: Actually I don't
Me: Well, that's.... too... bad, for you. *audience Bursts out laughing*

ME: when this knife retails, it will be 29.99, i can't cut that price today
Customer: so there's something this knife can't cut.
Me: Pardon?
Customer: The Price
Me: You Sir, are the living end!


I feel dirty.